I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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