Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
