just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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