i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
