they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This is my gift to your gina
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