my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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