I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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