My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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