she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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