Can Purell be used as lube?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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