Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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