THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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