There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
