i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
