Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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