Your dad touched me again.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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