If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
