haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
