I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
