god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
