you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
