We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
