walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
