There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
