I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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