Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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