Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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