And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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