Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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