Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
