Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
