I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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