Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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