did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
