I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
