walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
