we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
