remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
