I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dear god my vagina.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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