My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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