they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
