It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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