he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
