Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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