Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
