You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So. Much. Porn.
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