youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
