I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
