I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
