No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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