so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
