you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
