I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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