You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
