New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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